Move Beyond

Hearing Voices in Your Head… Move Beyond, Part II

 I read a Malcolm Gladwell quote recently and it made me stop and think. He said, “The visionary starts with a clean sheet of paper and re-imagines the world.” I like that.

 

Of course, when it comes to being the visionary of your own life, it only works if you can find a clean sheet of paper in your brain.

 

That’s where culture comes in. So many of us feel trapped by our culture. Or, at least, hindered. The expectations of us, whether real and spoken or imagined and silent, seize any and all time and energy within us to reinvent ourselves. We feel chained to those expectations often – especially as women – and wonder if life will ever be different than it is now.

 

Well… it can be.

 

As someone who measures success based on results, the key to dealing with our cultural expectations is to ask yourself, “Is this expectation producing in me the life I have always wanted?” If anything but a ‘Yes’ results from that question, why would you want to hold onto it?

 

Culture is created by people. Aside from religious beliefs you hold to tightly, family rules you have accepted, or promises your have made, why would you allow anything else to have a grip on the vision of your life? Create your own culture. It is a key component of creating a life you love.

 

Have you ever thought about the culture you create? I’m sure you have spent time thinking about the culture you live in or inherited or ascribe to… but have you consciously thought about the culture you create for you?

 

I’ll admit, there are cultural influences and forces at play that neither you nor I have control over. Oh well. Honestly… those have a lot less power in our lives than we tend to think they do.

 

My husband is a big John Wooden fan and he shared with me a quote from Coach Wooden that I LOVE. Coach said, “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

 

What we CAN do is create a culture around us that further enhances a life we love. What we CAN do is put boundaries on outside cultural forces that don’t serve us well. What we CAN do is recognize the voice of culture in our heads and determine if that voice is truly who we really are and want to be.

 

Choose what you CAN do. That’s the culture you want to create…

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

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Move Beyond

Hearing Voices in Your Head… Move Beyond, Part I

 You ever had someone’s voice stuck inside your head?  You hear it and you can imagine right where you were standing the moment you heard it.  Sometimes, that voice can ring loud and letting go of it can be a little difficult.

 

Like when it involves your family.

 

I hope that your family gave you good things to hear growing up and I hope those tracks play repeatedly in your brain.  If so, consider yourself grateful.  More often than not, I coach clients who didn’t get to hear those types of things. The words they have heard from their family have caused damage and even derailed pieces of their lives for years.

 

Whose voice is in your head? (Joan Sotkin has a great article on this… http://prosperityplace.com/listening-to-your-inner-voice/).

 

Our goal is to live from our own voice… our own space… our own understanding of ourselves. However… if too many other voices occupy space in our brain, our own can get drowned out very quickly. It is hard to hold onto yourself when you are holding onto everyone’s else opinions of you. Even beyond that, it is hard to find your voice when you have practiced listening to someone else’s for so long.

 

I love my mom. She’s great. But we are definitely different. As I became my own woman, I found myself often at odds with her voice in my head. Her convictions weren’t necessarily mine. Her beliefs weren’t necessarily mine. Her views on who a woman should be in this world weren’t necessarily mine. And while neither of our views are better than the others’, I found myself often conflicted over my own thoughts of myself and who I was supposed to be. Was my mom right? Am I right? How do I know the difference?

 

Finding your voice amidst a sea of voices that cascade on you every day may be the greatest awareness task you will face. I am thankful that I was successful in finding my voice within me. In my role as a success coach, I find that this is often one of the first tasks that I work on with clients. I help them become aware of what they are thinking and help them identify whose voice that really is. If it is authentically their own, we can celebrate and move on. If it isn’t… then some work needs to be done.

 

Track yourself today. When those thoughts pop up that get you derailed or send you down the slippery staircase, ask yourself: “Is the voice I am hearing that echoes this thought really mine?”

 

If the answer is “Yes”, embrace it. If the answer is “No”, acknowledge it, set it on the shelf, and move on.

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

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Move Into

Calling all moms, grandmothers and aunts with girls ages 12-18

The Girls Rule Foundation, in partnership with YWCA and Phoenix Mercury, are hosting the 2nd Annual Shine Brightly Teen & Women Summit at the US Airways Arena on Sat. Sept 21 from 9am-2pm.

This is a fabulous, educational and inspirational day for teen girls and their moms (or guardians/grandmothers/aunts/mentors) to dream big and get the tools, plans, encouragement and inspiration to make their bright futures happen.

Also, during the Summit’s luncheon we will be awarding 4 girls the Brilliant Beautiful and Bold Role Model Award!

For more information:

-BBB Role Model Award information: http://www.girlsrulefoundation.org/awards.html

-Register for the Summit here: http://girlsrulesummit2013.eventbrite.com/

-View our nomination video here: http://youtu.be/QnC5AEFmZeQ

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

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Move Toward

Move Toward Your Relationship with Your Kids

[youtube width=”600″ height=”450″]http://youtu.be/byV5xw9KZ3Y[/youtube]

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

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Move Toward

Move Toward the Life You Love with Your Family

Motivation

Sometimes, the results we get are directly related to the motivational tips or techniques our family of origin gave us.

So… in case you haven’t heard it in awhile… you are great.

Seriously.

Now, if you had any trouble stomaching that first sentence – OR – you quickly made your move to debate it, we need to chat. Because you may not know it, but  you’re performing an act of self sabotage by believing this. J

Cause I think you’re great.

Odds are, there is a voice somewhere in your head that echoes your true belief about yourself. My guess is, that voice belongs to a family member – or two, or three, or… So often, that voice binds us to something less than we were created to be. A life coach would ask you to ignore this voice.

Growing up, we all feel defined by the expectations that are put on us. Some of those are healthy and some probably aren’t. Some probably gave you motivation, while some did not. Without a doubt, some of those expectations were unspoken – you just “knew” what they were (i.e. don’t outshine your sibling, don’t let the family down, live up to the family name, etc.). The moment we took those things in and started to believe them, we began to create a life constricted by other people’s expectations. And if those expectations were negative, well… you know how that story goes.

If this is you, it’s time to change the story. It’s time to be your own success coach.

And that’s where a life coach comes in.

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

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Move Toward

Move Toward Your Relationship with Your Spouse/Significant Other

[youtube width=”600″ height=”450″]http://youtu.be/S1BsHdPiEHY[/youtube]

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

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Move Forward

Move Forward in Your Job

http://www.dreamstime.com/-image16330567
Motivate

It is so easy to lose motivation in a job or career and not move forward.  The tough part is getting the results you want when that begins.

Have you ever…

  • Been afraid to speak up?
  • Brushed off compliments?
  • Viewed yourself as not as important as others?

Congratulations! You and about every other person I have ever met have done one (or all) of those at one time or another.

Oh well. Read on to get your hands on some words of wisdom by a life coach.

While doing that socially may not be a killer, doing it in a job is. When we play small in our work we create two issues: 1) we plant a seed of doubt in others about our ability; and 2) we begin to doubt ourselves. You may not be doing it consciously, but in effect you’re indulging in self-sabotage. Play that out over time and it becomes very easy to shrink.

And shrinking sucks.

Can your job contain you?  I don’t mean that it isn’t worth your time. I mean, have you postured yourself into believing that this is as good as you can get or the best you will ever achieve? If so, I’m guessing your playing small in some area of your work.  And that kills your motivation.

Here are some words of advice from a success coach. I realize you’d have  more in the tank if you could get out of your own way and step into your full potential of what it means to be you. Maybe you’ve felt the office doubts about you… Maybe you really don’t know if you are capable of more… Maybe you settled awhile back and this job feels comfortable now.

As a life coach, I am always amazed at what happens when someone unleashes their potential. When they refuse to play small and take the risk to play big, it always seems they find a new lease on life.  It is so powerful!

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

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Move Past

Move Past the Opposite of Motivation

getting unstuck

Meet Mitch.

Mitch is someone I met a long time ago, a master of self sabotage.  Mitch is addicted to struggle. Nothing is easy in his life.  Things are always complicated.  He believes that life – MUST! – be difficult in order to be lived.  Nothing is ever easy.  He says he has never had a good day.  He is addicted to feeling bad.  For him, to feel good would actually be scary.

Mitch wonders why he’s not married yet.

Hmmmm.

I won’t be calling on Mitch for motivation tips anytime soon..

If you’re like Mitch, it’s time to consult a life coach.  Is there anything more limiting to a human being than believing you have to struggle through life?  Where did we come up with that idea anyway?  Seriously… Who says life has to be a constant struggle?

I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be.  It’s the result I help lead each and every client to everyday.  It’s the job of any life coach.

To get ahead, you have to embrace getting unstuck.  The idea of struggle is exactly the opposite of the idea of motivation.  And I prefer motivation. Living the metaphor of struggle day in and day out is a recipe for misery and loneliness.  Any success coach will tell you that.

I have my own phrase for folks I encounter like this now.

They think life is a Mitch.

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

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Move Beyond

Move Beyond the One Thing NO ONE Wants to Admit

self sabotage

It pains me to even write the word.

Victim.

Have you ever been one?

Perhaps. And if so, I have no doubt that a flood of memories as to how and when you were came racing to mind.

And now for the tough question:  Have you ever been guilty of having a “victim mentality”?

It’s self sabotage. It’s the one thing NO ONE ever wants to admit.

And yet I see it all the time in people around me – at the store, casual friendships, and sadly, clients.

This is a tough one and I struggle to write this blog today because it is such a difficult issue. I don’t want to write off how you may have been victimized. All I want to say is that you can’t stay there.

A success coach advises you to look inside yourself and find out if you suffer from a victim mentality. Here are ways to identify a victim mentality:

  • When you are the one always being wronged.
  • Nothing good happens to/for you.
  • If the worst is going to happen, it is going to happen to you.
  • The idea of “poor me” enters your thoughts.

I learned something a long time ago from my sister, Kim and this is a lesson you might pay hundreds of dollars to your life coach in order to learn.  She was severely burned and it wasn’t her fault.  She had every right to be a victim and live that out the rest of her days. However…

The burn community doesn’t operate that way.  As I have learned from her and attending the Phoenix Society’s World Burn Congress, there are no victims.

Only survivors.

From there, it’s about moving toward that next thing.

And the next thing is “thriving.”

That’s a much better mentality, don’t you think?

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

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Move Into

Move Into the Blessing of Forgiveness

[youtube width=”600″ height=”450″]http://youtu.be/WagKqYj-L0A[/youtube]

Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
– Connect with her on Facebook here for her tips & inspirations.
– View her coaching packages that will empower, encourage and equip you… click here.
– Enjoy Kristi’s free downloadable ebook here or purchase her book here.
– To book Kristi as a speaker for your group or conference click here
.

​Read More