You ever had someone’s voice stuck inside your head? You hear it and you can imagine right where you were standing the moment you heard it. Sometimes, that voice can ring loud and letting go of it can be a little difficult.
Like when it involves your family.
I hope that your family gave you good things to hear growing up and I hope those tracks play repeatedly in your brain. If so, consider yourself grateful. More often than not, I coach clients who didn’t get to hear those types of things. The words they have heard from their family have caused damage and even derailed pieces of their lives for years.
Whose voice is in your head? (Joan Sotkin has a great article on this… http://prosperityplace.com/listening-to-your-inner-voice/).
Our goal is to live from our own voice… our own space… our own understanding of ourselves. However… if too many other voices occupy space in our brain, our own can get drowned out very quickly. It is hard to hold onto yourself when you are holding onto everyone’s else opinions of you. Even beyond that, it is hard to find your voice when you have practiced listening to someone else’s for so long.
I love my mom. She’s great. But we are definitely different. As I became my own woman, I found myself often at odds with her voice in my head. Her convictions weren’t necessarily mine. Her beliefs weren’t necessarily mine. Her views on who a woman should be in this world weren’t necessarily mine. And while neither of our views are better than the others’, I found myself often conflicted over my own thoughts of myself and who I was supposed to be. Was my mom right? Am I right? How do I know the difference?
Finding your voice amidst a sea of voices that cascade on you every day may be the greatest awareness task you will face. I am thankful that I was successful in finding my voice within me. In my role as a success coach, I find that this is often one of the first tasks that I work on with clients. I help them become aware of what they are thinking and help them identify whose voice that really is. If it is authentically their own, we can celebrate and move on. If it isn’t… then some work needs to be done.
Track yourself today. When those thoughts pop up that get you derailed or send you down the slippery staircase, ask yourself: “Is the voice I am hearing that echoes this thought really mine?”
If the answer is “Yes”, embrace it. If the answer is “No”, acknowledge it, set it on the shelf, and move on.
Kristi’s passion is to equip and encourage busy women to move easily to the next level of their life and dreams.
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